Transitioning is not a cure-all, it will not solve your life's problems, nor will it fundamentally change who you are. When I talk to young trans people, this is the biggest thing I stress. Wherever you are and however you look, you are still the same person. But neither of us was truly prepared for how deeply the changes would affect us. My partner and I were really committed, despite all we had heard about how often couples break up when one person transitions, and we toughed it out for a while. If you're in a relationship, it is impossible to know for sure how it will be affected-but it will be affected. I don't have limitless emotional resources to serve as mentor, adviser, big brother, or therapist just because I also happen to be transgender. With how fast the community is changing, six-plus years in means I'm already a trans “elder.” It's easy to say “no” to educating cisgender people about trans issues, but I had to learn to enforce boundaries with other trans people, too. You are not obligated to be a trans role model. It took a long time to understand that my breasts don't make me any less male. My gender is binary male and I have not had, nor do I want, any surgery. Not wanting gender confirmation surgery does not mean your identity is any less valid, or that you have to identify as non-binary. I was so afraid I would never be able to afford transitioning because the numbers are often sensationalized (and may include particularly pricey treatment options that are not one-size-fits-all). The largest financial hurdles for me were starting hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and changing my wardrobe. Transitioning does not have to be prohibitively expensive. I swear there's more “dial tone” now and less constant background chatter. I find it hard to describe orgasms, but the simplest explanation is that they got way more intense, but I can't climax more than once now. For a while, especially as I got acclimated, my migraines and panic attacks both got noticeably worse. It's true that hormone therapy radically changes your body, but not always in ways you might expect.
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I came out to the support group as a boy (with my hair still in pigtails). When I stood up for her, I realized that I could stand up for myself, too. Her family was not accepting her transition. Just two weeks later (and against the professional’s advice), I was in a support group when a trans woman broke down in tears and said she felt all alone.
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When I finally told a mental health professional that I thought I could be transgender (guiltily as if I were admitting to a crime) he said, "You can just a female and wear men's clothing." Deep down I knew the answer, but I needed confirmation. Over and over, I asked others if they could tell me if I was trans. When Laverne Cox hit my radar, I told myself, "I strongly identify with her.but as a boy." Still, I felt that I needed to be sure. But my outward appearance of happiness self-hatred.
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A girl that I felt strongly for told me that she only liked boys, and inside I was screaming, "But I am one!" As a teenager I was judged a lot, frequently labelled as too loud and opinionated, and even too happy. As a child I felt male and even "packed"-padding a phallic object in the front of pants or underwear. It took finding feminism to realize that my voice mattered. Facing that and a society that discourages female voices made everything even more difficult. I grew up in a tough, hostile home environment. Before I transitioned, I wish I had known that it's OK to think for yourself.